October 3, 2015 editorial: comments

Kick Out the Jams

I don’t tend to be a curmudgeon, but there’s one aspect of being a musician that brings out the Scrooge in me: Jam sessions.

First, there’s the inevitable opening question that nobody ever seems to have a good answer for: “What should we play?” Everyone sits there scratching their heads for a minute or two until someone hesitatingly says, “Ahh...I don’t know...blues in A?”

If you’re a guitarist or other soloist, there’s also the conundrum of how long to make your solo. Of course, you want to show off your playing skills, but you don’t want to be looked upon as an egomaniac who only wants to hear himself (or herself) play, so you have to tread that fine line.

I actually find organized jam sessions to be the most stressful type. You know, like a blues jam on a Tuesday night at the local beer joint. In addition to the aforementioned issues, there is the wild card of not knowing who you’re going to be thrown onstage with.

You sign up, and you wait through endless renditions of blues standards. At 11:30PM, when your name is finally called, you have the misfortune to be up there with a drummer who speeds up more than the getaway car in a bank robbery, and an obnoxious guitarist who thinks he’s Joe Bonnamossa and completely hogs the song while playing so loud your ears are bleeding. When he finally tires and you get a chance to solo, the jam session host, some poor slob who’s had to sit through endless renditions of “Crosscut Saw” and “I’ve Got My Mojo Working” every Tuesday night for the last three years — and who would much rather be somewhere else — is giving the band the high sign to wrap it up and get off the stage.

OK, I grant you, that’s a worst-case scenario. And you could get lucky and get called up with a group of musicians who turn out to be the touring band for a nationally famous singer, and who happened upon the bar on their night off. They not only have great chops, but also actually listen to each other onstage and try to play like a band, not a bunch of preening individualists. What’s more they’re considerate and friendly and genuinely having a good time. They even buy you a drink when you’re finished playing.

Alas, the first scenario, or at least some variation of it, is much more likely to occur than the second one, don’t you think?

What have your jam session experiences been like?