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Little help for my lyrics

  • 23 replies
  • 4 participants
  • 4,460 views
  • 4 followers
Topic Little help for my lyrics
Hello,

my english is not so good (I'm french), if someone could tell me if this text is ok, it would be nice ;)

(this text is intentionally naive, so do not be too mocking...)


This is the story

The story of the mysterious butterfly’s flight

My story

Quest of colors, flowers and great light



I’ve been flying

All around the shiny fields



I can go

Everywhere I want

I can do

Everything I ever wanted



Fly from flowers to flowers

And feel the power of the wind



Upon my wings





Sometimes I dream about my past life

The long boring (fastidieuses) walks (marches forcées)

The endless sleep in this cocoon

With no one else to touch

But me

And the fear, everything scared me so mutch



***



But now I’m free

And I feel so strong

Delicate and majestic

I’ll hit the sun with my powdered wings all day long



I’ll may live only one day,

But what a day !



Between the earth and the sky

Look out !

The giant bird could get me

So I must keep flying



I’m like the happiness :

I never look back,

Never look back…



The bird saw me

He came from a tree

He’s gonna catch me

I must increase my speed

His beak is going to crush my wings

But beware of the storm I could create

You will understand the meaning of the Butterfly effect…
View this discussion’s subject
11

Quote: (psyche/pop-rock/progressive in the style of the first albums of Genesis "Nursery crime", "Foxtrot", ...)



you're kidding me?!! i love early Genesis :aime:
12
Yeah, except that it will not be Tony Banks at keyboards or Peter Gabriel singing but me ... :lol:
13
Keep in mind that a lot of phrasings can work a lot better with the melody than those that are "correct" - sometimes it's okay to bend the rules a bit.
14
You can hear the result in two weeks from now...
15
Why not now??!!! http://img.af-v4.com/images/audiofanzine/interface/smileys/icon_cry.gif(" />(" />
16
I could...

in fact it's over 95% finished

but we have to respect the rules of the game : https://forums.en.audiofanzine.com/index,idtopic,318963,idpost,,highlight,reset.html

the date is set for june, the 24th
17
Can't wait to hear how it worked out.
18
Don't be too impatient, you could be disappointed :clin:
19
Tadaaaaa !

The story of the mysterious butterfly's flight (in collaboration with Psyx) :

Part 1 : The mysterious butterfly's flight
Part 2 : The mysterious butterfly's dream


you can go here for more details (in french) :
Collective spirit (5th season)
20
And the lyrics :


This is the story,
The story of the mysterious butterfly’s flight.
My story :
Quest for flowers, colors and great light !

I’ve been flying
All around the shiny fields.

I can go
Anywhere I want,
I can do Everything I ever wanted.

Fly from flower to flower
And feel the power of the wind
Upon my wings.

Sometimes I dream
About my past life,
The tiresome walks,
The endless sleep in this cocoon
With no one else to touch
But me…
And the fear,
Everything scared me so mutch…

But now I’m free,
And I feel so strong,
Delicate and majestic,
I hit the sun with my powdered wings all day long !

I may live only one day
But what a day !

Between the earth and the sky
A brand new world arise !

The giant bird could get me,
So I must keep flying.
The bird sees me.
He came from a tree.
He’s gona catch me.
I must increase my speed.
His beac is going to crush my wings !
His beac is going to crush my wings !

But make no mitakes,
Beware of the storm
I could create.
You will understand the meaning of the butterfly effect,
Behold the power of the butterfly effect !

I’m like happiness,
I never look back,
never look back…