I thought it sounded pretty good overall, especially for a home rolled production. I listened on my desktop reference monitors and on my head phones.
First of all, I'm no hip hop rap guru, but I'm thinking that the small bit of reverb you have on there is muddying things up a little. Seems to me most rap I hear is dryer than that. Also, I wonder if maybe a different kind of microphone might not highlight the vocals better. I don't know what you ised, but maybe a good condenser would help.
You might also try separating the vocals a little more across the stereo field.
Overall, though, I thought it was pretty solid.