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Welcome to the FMA : Failed Musicians Anonymous

  • 20 replies
  • 15 participants
  • 19,045 views
  • 17 followers
Topic Welcome to the FMA : Failed Musicians Anonymous
You still can't play the piano properly after 10 years spent practising your scales daily?

You've claimed for years that you willingly restrictred your guitar play to only power chords in order to sound MEANER, while the awful truth is you just can't play barred chords properly?

During your last gig there were more people backstage than in the audience?

After 5 years spent on stage at all the karaoke bars and clubs in your area, your fan club is still limited to its 3 founding members: you, your mother, your (girl/boy)friend and your favorite pet? ( :?!: wait, that should be 4... hey, who's just deserted!?)

You never caught the "amp goes to 11" joke in Spinal Tap but were too ashamed to ever ask?

Everytime you come across a guitar tabs site you call the NASA to signal strange meaningless chains of characters which might provide from a hacking of their servers?

...worse still, you think that only British amps have tubes? that a pickguard is a defensive player who's just been drafted? that a real estate agent is the best possible person to give you advice about home studios? that 12AX7 and 6L6 are the two droids in Star Wars? You think that BPMs can be converted into jpeg? You spend more time on the internet reading stupid topics like this one while you know you should be practicing!? You have answeres "yes" (or, even worse, you've blushed) at one of the above questions? Ask no further, you ARE indeed a failed musician!


Yet, don't panic! Now this meeting group is here to help you get out of what is after all only a transition stage (or, is it?): here, we are among us and we can share our anecdotes, "Idées reçues" (as they say in French), reflections (or lack thereof) and so on...


:oops2: Well, OK, so I start:

"My name is TheStratGuy, and I am a failed musician"...

:oops: Er, now, it's your turn... :bravo:
View this discussion’s subject
11
Yeah, that's what I figured :) Was just still trying to kid myself about it.
12
Flag
Give me enough knobs, I can controle the world
13
Who else thought that the purchase of a rig would suddenly provide them with a hit record?

Still loads of fun though!
Less is more
14
I have to flag here :( However I do my best my guitar play sucks :fache:


Off topic: Hi thurston :coucou:

15

Quote: However I do my best my guitar play sucks


The trick is to make people believe that you're purposefully doing your best precisely so that your sound DOES suck. To make this explanation more credible a DIY "FMA" badge may help. And, whatever style you're playing, claim you're doing it in the only acceptable "rock'n roll spirit" way (or, if you really, really, REALLY suck, try to pretend it's punk and that whoever doesn't understand it is just too old/stupid/whatever comes to your mind! :mrg: ).



Please note that the author assumes no liability in case you would get booed, kicked or thrown out of a venue of any kind following the appliance of the aforementioned advice...
16
I've never seen things in that way before.. thanx dear StratGuy, now I trust in me again :langue:
17
Here i am! I play as badly as I speak english, it must be à sign.
18
I might fit in. Spending so much time with my bands/projects, that I pretty much didn't finish up college or anything. Hence now I'm band- and projectless, unschooled and unemployed... :o:
19

Oh, I have to admit that my songs really sucks. Obviously it's because :

My drums sucks, my bass sucks, my guitars sucks, my keyboards sucks my vocals sucks and my lyrics sucks...

I think I understand why my songs finally sucks... 

I guess I couldn't handle it

So Hi everybody, I'm looking for a club of musicians who sucks to help me keep the faith... in the fact that I'm not the only one who... sucks
20
It has been said that we must FAIL in order for us to EDUCATE ourselves.

... I must be a frickin' GENIUS by now! icon_exorbite.gif