Welcome to the FMA : Failed Musicians Anonymous
- 20 replies
- 15 participants
- 19,353 views
- 17 followers
TheStratGuy
60
Moderator
Member 21 years ago
29 January 2008 to 13:40Welcome to the FMA : Failed Musicians Anonymous
#1
You still can't play the piano properly after 10 years spent practising your scales daily?
You've claimed for years that you willingly restrictred your guitar play to only power chords in order to sound MEANER, while the awful truth is you just can't play barred chords properly?
During your last gig there were more people backstage than in the audience?
After 5 years spent on stage at all the karaoke bars and clubs in your area, your fan club is still limited to its 3 founding members: you, your mother, your (girl/boy)friend and your favorite pet? (
wait, that should be 4... hey, who's just deserted!?)
You never caught the "amp goes to 11" joke in Spinal Tap but were too ashamed to ever ask?
Everytime you come across a guitar tabs site you call the NASA to signal strange meaningless chains of characters which might provide from a hacking of their servers?
...worse still, you think that only British amps have tubes? that a pickguard is a defensive player who's just been drafted? that a real estate agent is the best possible person to give you advice about home studios? that 12AX7 and 6L6 are the two droids in Star Wars? You think that BPMs can be converted into jpeg? You spend more time on the internet reading stupid topics like this one while you know you should be practicing!? You have answeres "yes" (or, even worse, you've blushed) at one of the above questions? Ask no further, you ARE indeed a failed musician!
Yet, don't panic! Now this meeting group is here to help you get out of what is after all only a transition stage (or, is it?): here, we are among us and we can share our anecdotes, "Idées reçues" (as they say in French), reflections (or lack thereof) and so on...
Well, OK, so I start:
"My name is TheStratGuy, and I am a failed musician"...
Er, now, it's your turn... 
You've claimed for years that you willingly restrictred your guitar play to only power chords in order to sound MEANER, while the awful truth is you just can't play barred chords properly?
During your last gig there were more people backstage than in the audience?
After 5 years spent on stage at all the karaoke bars and clubs in your area, your fan club is still limited to its 3 founding members: you, your mother, your (girl/boy)friend and your favorite pet? (
You never caught the "amp goes to 11" joke in Spinal Tap but were too ashamed to ever ask?
Everytime you come across a guitar tabs site you call the NASA to signal strange meaningless chains of characters which might provide from a hacking of their servers?
...worse still, you think that only British amps have tubes? that a pickguard is a defensive player who's just been drafted? that a real estate agent is the best possible person to give you advice about home studios? that 12AX7 and 6L6 are the two droids in Star Wars? You think that BPMs can be converted into jpeg? You spend more time on the internet reading stupid topics like this one while you know you should be practicing!? You have answeres "yes" (or, even worse, you've blushed) at one of the above questions? Ask no further, you ARE indeed a failed musician!
Yet, don't panic! Now this meeting group is here to help you get out of what is after all only a transition stage (or, is it?): here, we are among us and we can share our anecdotes, "Idées reçues" (as they say in French), reflections (or lack thereof) and so on...
"My name is TheStratGuy, and I am a failed musician"...
liverpool
15
New AFfiliate
Member 18 years ago
29 January 2008 to 14:46
#2
His name is The Strat Guy, he's a failed musician, but not totally anonymous... 
The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye/The story of Love is just hello and goodbye/Until we meet again (Jimi Hendrix)
TheStratGuy
60
Moderator
Member 21 years ago
29 January 2008 to 14:59
#3
Off topic: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Hopefully no one'll notice!
Doktor Sven
27
New AFfiliate
Member 22 years ago
30 January 2008 to 03:16
#4
Suscribed !! 
I definitely fit in the FMA
I definitely fit in the FMA
tihouss
11
New AFfiliate
Member 20 years ago
17 February 2008 to 09:39
#5
Quote: You think that BPMs can be converted into jpeg?
You should have said seconds instead of jpeg in loving memory of Kapam
Btw, i'm an FM too.
May the Forest be with you
TheStratGuy
60
Moderator
Member 21 years ago
14 March 2008 to 11:46
#6
Come on, don't be shy, there must be more of us! 
Jim Barnett
3
New AFfiliate
Member 18 years ago
21 March 2008 to 18:06
#7
Me too
Off topic: I wonder if there is really non-french people in this forum
Axeman
591
AFfectionate Poster
Member 22 years ago
22 April 2008 to 07:19
#8
I don't think of it as having failed. I'm just very selective in my success. 
The Axeman (##(===> Cuts From My New Blues CD
cdanddvdpublisher
75
AFfable Poster
Member 18 years ago
06 May 2008 to 19:50
#9
Does it count to put one's self in the failed category when life gets in the way of playing so much that you almost need to re-learn everything that you knew?
TheStratGuy
60
Moderator
Member 21 years ago
12 May 2008 to 13:02
#10
Frankly!?... yes, it sure does! 
cdanddvdpublisher
75
AFfable Poster
Member 18 years ago
12 May 2008 to 14:12
#11
Yeah, that's what I figured
Was just still trying to kid myself about it.
thurston
47
New AFfiliate
Member 18 years ago
16 May 2008 to 11:13
#12
Flag
Give me enough knobs, I can controle the world
sle_en
3
New AFfiliate
Member 17 years ago
01 June 2008 to 09:12
#13
Who else thought that the purchase of a rig would suddenly provide them with a hit record?
Still loads of fun though!
Still loads of fun though!
Less is more
Anonymous
16 September 2008 to 01:47
#14
I have to flag here
However I do my best my guitar play sucks
Off topic: Hi thurston
TheStratGuy
60
Moderator
Member 21 years ago
20 September 2008 to 04:40
#15
Quote: However I do my best my guitar play sucks
The trick is to make people believe that you're purposefully doing your best precisely so that your sound DOES suck. To make this explanation more credible a DIY "FMA" badge may help. And, whatever style you're playing, claim you're doing it in the only acceptable "rock'n roll spirit" way (or, if you really, really, REALLY suck, try to pretend it's punk and that whoever doesn't understand it is just too old/stupid/whatever comes to your mind!
Please note that the author assumes no liability in case you would get booed, kicked or thrown out of a venue of any kind following the appliance of the aforementioned advice...
Anonymous
20 September 2008 to 07:14
#16
I've never seen things in that way before.. thanx dear StratGuy, now I trust in me again 
grum
1
New AFfiliate
Member 22 years ago
27 September 2008 to 13:26
#17
Here i am! I play as badly as I speak english, it must be à sign.
Chaoschrist
18
New AFfiliate
Member 17 years ago
01 March 2009 to 06:14
#18
I might fit in. Spending so much time with my bands/projects, that I pretty much didn't finish up college or anything. Hence now I'm band- and projectless, unschooled and unemployed... 
Kitty.Litter
2
New AFfiliate
Member 16 years ago
06 March 2010 to 15:55
#19
Oh, I have to admit that my songs really sucks. Obviously it's because :
My drums sucks, my bass sucks, my guitars sucks, my keyboards sucks my vocals sucks and my lyrics sucks...
I think I understand why my songs finally sucks...

I guess I couldn't handle it

So Hi everybody, I'm looking for a club of musicians who sucks to help me keep the faith... in the fact that I'm not the only one who... sucks
ReinMan
1
New AFfiliate
Member 16 years ago
13 June 2010 to 11:18
#20
It has been said that we must FAIL in order for us to EDUCATE ourselves.
... I must be a frickin' GENIUS by now!
... I must be a frickin' GENIUS by now!
Anonymous
30 March 2011 to 05:17
#21
Check oane tou oane tou
- < Thread list
- Rules