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Just for Laughs ─ Compulsive Buyers

Article You know you buy too much gear when...
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Do you feel at home browsing gear online or at the store right around the corner? Buying, selling, exchanging ─ it's all in your nature, it's almost an obsession. You know you buy too much gear when...

  • You sold the last thing you bought before even trying it out.
  • You bought Cubase 8 when it came out, even though you still haven't installed version 7.
  • The last pedal you bought is still wrapped in cellophane, two weeks later.
  • You always have at least four classified ads running.
  • The guy at the local music store knows you by name and always asks about your family.
  • Other customers in the store think you are a sales assistant.
  • You have four tuners on your pedalboard.
  • You have already bought something and sold it only to buy it again some time later.
  • Your monthly gear allowance is equivalent to the GDP of some countries.
  • You visit your local music store every first day of the month and eat black beans and tortillas until you get your next paycheck.
  • You need to rent a storage room to put all the stuff you've bought.
  • You've set up some gear at your parent's country house because you don't have enough room at your place.
  • Every time you buy new gear you tell your spouse that "this one's really it" and you won't ever need anything else again in your life.
  • You have more than two ring modulators.
  • You keep gear catalogs in the bathroom.
  • You buy custom-made boxes and furniture to fit your gear in.
  • The only difference between your home studio and a professional one is that you don't make any money with it.
  • You don't have a good relationship with your banker.
  • You have bought at least one instrument you don't know how to play and said to yourself "you never know when it might come in handy..."
  • Your have more than 2 TB of software on your HDD.
  • You bought a DI because you think "it's a nice object."
  • Recabling your home studio takes more than a day's work.
  • You have a room dedicated exclusively to your synths.
  • You have bought at least one instrument at a secondhand store just because you didn't know the brand.
  • You have bought at least one device just because it wasn't expensive.
  • You gave a distortion pedal to your mom for her birthday.
  • If you break a string on your guitar, you buy another guitar, and tell yourself: "It's good to have both, because they are complementary."
  • You have never decided between Fender and Gibson. You're damn right, why should you choose?
     
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